Mike's "Things I've learned after 3 months of fatherhood"

[ccbchevy]

LOL, being a dad now for a little over a year here is my little one



just wait until he reaches the point where he can put words together but he knows if he screams loud enough you will pay attention to what he is trying to say, but you still will be clueless, and wait until you try to get him to start using a sippy cup (I am going thru this right now) and he hates it and throws a fit, and you think your house is a mess now, wait until he can walk and really make a mess, oh and you still be saying sex, whats that, HAHAHA but the ones you posted I really like are; My wife really hates 10, she is a germ a phobe

1. Formula poop is the worst smelling thing you can ever imagine. Nothing will prepare you. Wars could be fought and won with bombs full of this stuff.

6. Sex? What is that? Who has time anymore?

8. You will sing the most ridiculous, made up songs ever to your child at 3:10am when you're trying to get him to sleep... "My diaper is poopy... My diaper is poopy.... but now it's clean... now it's clean. Funny funny jumpers, funny funny jumpers, snow outside... snow outside.."

10. Random strangers think they have the right to make funny noises and touch your baby on the cheek at the mall. Smack their hands away.

18. Goodbye neat and organized house. Toys, bottles, blankets, clothes, etc... they're like Gremlins the way they multiply.

19. It's all worth it when you're laying on the couch and he's asleep on you like this:

 

[Billydroveit]

Our little guy was a month early and had to stay at the hospital because he lost a lot of weight the first few days. He was obviously in a very fragile state when he came home. I cannot tell you angry I was to hear that my aunt came to visit after she'd been throwing up all night from the flu.

Look how little he was! 5lbs here. He's doubled since then!

That's another pet peave of mine....if you're sick STAY AWAY! I don't know how many times i bowed out of family gatherings because i foud out someone was discustingly sick, but still thought it was appropriate to come to family functions and try to hold/play with our new borns and babies...(family had a run of kids one year)

Great looking kid ya got there...mine was 10lbs when he as born and i think 24 inches. He's 4 now, and for the last year and a half everyone swore he was 5 and in school already. Most of the kids in his class are 5 and he towers over most! I'm 6'4" and momma's not a shorty either...hopefully i got a linebacker!
THis is a terrable picture, but gives you an idea of his size...i took this 5 months before his 4th birthday. He already wears size 1 boys shoes, and 6 regular pants! He turns 5 on holloween.

 

[Lunger]

Great list , wait till they get older --- (2) girls 20 and 15 + the wife --- two bathroom house . There is never any hot water , and you have to time your bathroom breaks right.

 

[derbydad276]

ok new dads ...

have they craped in your hand while you were changing them yet?
have you figured out to cover the little guy while you change him so he doesnt pee on you?
pacifier's will re appear in 3 years
if you keep at least 3 pacifiers in diaper bag you will loose them all

good luck they dont get any easier

 

[smooth]

Great list , wait till they get older --- (2) girls 20 and 15 + the wife --- two bathroom house . There is never any hot water , and you have to time your bathroom breaks right.

You are sooooo right!!! I have 3 girls + my wife, I need to build an addition for my son and I

 

[soap]

have you figured out to cover the little guy while you change him so he doesnt pee on you?

We have a girl so no worries there........but we did get these for my brother in law who has a boy.

http://www.bebabean.com/product/pptp/index.aspx

--Joe

 

[Quick86]

You are sooooo right!!! I have 3 girls + my wife, I need to build an addition for my son and I

My aunt & uncle... 4 daughters...


Talk about being out numbered! They have 2 1/2 bath. He made sure they got a male dog so he could have some extra testosterone in the house, lol.


Now they're all graduated from college and on their own, but man... Talk about a rough 18+ years! :roll:

 

[Billydroveit]

ok new dads ...

have they craped in your hand while you were changing them yet?
have you figured out to cover the little guy while you change him so he doesnt pee on you?

No, but shot a few at mom.

I always open the diaper, let the cold air in and close it back up...wait for the warmth then change. Never got peed on. Tried to tell mom that..she always got peed on!...they never listen.

 

[DetroitStyle]

No, but shot a few at mom.

I always open the diaper, let the cold air in and close it back up...wait for the warmth then change. Never got peed on. Tried to tell mom that..she always got peed on!...they never listen.

He almost got me today. Diaper was wet, so I took it off, laid the little mini baby towel over his junk, and cleaned him up. I got him dried off, baby powdered his butt, and was grabbing for the diaper when something caught my attention at eye level. In about 2 seconds, my mind processed about 12 thoughts.

"What's that?
I think it's pee?
No way, that would mean he's shooting it 3' in the air.
Holy shit, it IS PEE!
Well, it will stop.
It's not stopping.
How much can there be?
Yikes, he's hitting the diaper rack!
I should stop him.
There ya go!"

...and I threw the mini blanket on his junk again. It was crazy. Missed me by a foot. Little turd just sat there with a grin on his face while I started over getting him cleaned up!

 

[murph]

He almost got me today. Diaper was wet, so I took it off, laid the little mini baby towel over his junk, and cleaned him up. I got him dried off, baby powdered his butt, and was grabbing for the diaper when something caught my attention at eye level. In about 2 seconds, my mind processed about 12 thoughts.

"What's that?
I think it's pee?
No way, that would mean he's shooting it 3' in the air.
Holy shit, it IS PEE!
Well, it will stop.
It's not stopping.
How much can there be?
Yikes, he's hitting the diaper rack!
I should stop him.
There ya go!"

...and I threw the mini blanket on his junk again. It was crazy. Missed me by a foot. Little turd just sat there with a grin on his face while I started over getting him cleaned up!

I'm sorry but this last post had me laughing...:roll:

 

[hangemhigh]

He's got more hair than me.

he's got more hair than mike..........:lol:

Wait until you have 4........and 2 of them are almost teens

hmmm.......3 teenagers here, and 1 twenty-one year old...........:facepalm:

 

[DetroitStyle]

he's got more hair than mike..........:lol:

I will let him know to enjoy it while it lasts!

 

[derbydad276]

He almost got me today. Diaper was wet, so I took it off, laid the little mini baby towel over his junk, and cleaned him up. I got him dried off, baby powdered his butt, and was grabbing for the diaper when something caught my attention at eye level. In about 2 seconds, my mind processed about 12 thoughts.

"What's that?
I think it's pee?
No way, that would mean he's shooting it 3' in the air.
Holy shit, it IS PEE!
Well, it will stop.
It's not stopping.
How much can there be?
Yikes, he's hitting the diaper rack!
I should stop him.
There ya go!"

...and I threw the mini blanket on his junk again. It was crazy. Missed me by a foot. Little turd just sat there with a grin on his face while I started over getting him cleaned up!

lmao !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


been there made my day

 

[Layinlow]

lol awesome! Cant wait for the experience haha

Due date for our son is the 22nd, counting days now. I could make a list before he is even here lol

 

[orangejuiced86]

Had my middle son on the changing table once. He shot a stream of piss about 4' away onto a neatly stacked pile of dress shirts I just got done pressing.

 

[Billydroveit]

He almost got me today. Diaper was wet, so I took it off, laid the little mini baby towel over his junk, and cleaned him up. I got him dried off, baby powdered his butt, and was grabbing for the diaper when something caught my attention at eye level. In about 2 seconds, my mind processed about 12 thoughts.

"What's that?
I think it's pee?
No way, that would mean he's shooting it 3' in the air.
Holy shit, it IS PEE!
Well, it will stop.
It's not stopping.
How much can there be?
Yikes, he's hitting the diaper rack!
I should stop him.
There ya go!"

...and I threw the mini blanket on his junk again. It was crazy. Missed me by a foot. Little turd just sat there with a grin on his face while I started over getting him cleaned up!

LMAO...the fun has just begun! I'm telling you man, open diaper, little wave of cool air, close, wait for flood to go IN DIAPER, then change! It works like a charm....