2013 College Football Megathread

[svtserpent]

 

[Stalker]

 

[Stalker]

 

[svtserpent]

lol the pic I posted is actually a friends ring

 

[YLWFVR]

heard this one yesterday

How do you get a Michigan Grad off your porch? You pay for the pizza

 

[Stalker]

10 things you'll never hear an MSU fan say:

I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Nope, no more for me. I’m driving tonight.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
We’re vegetarians.
Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
I’ve got it all on the C: drive.
Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
I’ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Do you think my gut is too big?
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.
I just couldn’t find a thing at Walmart today.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
Let’s go to the museum.
No, I insist you have the last piece.
Four wheelers are just too dangerous.
I think we should get to know each other better first.
I have reviewed your application.
I hope this wasn’t tested on animals.

 

[Stalker]

There was a group of Michigan State science students that wanted to send a probe to the sun, but some Michigan students said that was impossible and that the probe would burn up long before reaching the sun. The Spartans replied that they planned to send the probe at night.

 

[Stalker]

Did you hear about the Cessna airplane that crashed in a cemetery near the Michigan State campus recently?

Michigan State search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and are still digging.

 

[Stalker]

What do Spartans think Cheerios are?
Donut seeds.

 

[Stalker]

Why do they throw out a sack of manure at all Michigan State fan weddings?
To keep the flies off the bride.

 

[Stalker]

What do you call a female Michigan State fan who takes birth control pills?
A humanitarian.

 

[Stalker]

How do you know when you are near Michigan State’s campus?
When you honk your horn, all the sheep back up to the fence.

 

[Stalker]

The recent budgetary cuts are taking their toll at Michigan State. Just last week they announced the discontinuance of all driver’s Ed and sex education classes.
The mule died, and there was just no money with which to replace her.

 

[Swifster]

 

[Swifster]

Q: What's the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

 

[Swifster]

A University of Michigan fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

 

[Swifster]

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?

A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

 

[Swifster]

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Michigan?

A. With a restraining order.

 

[Swifster]

 

[Swifster]

I'd post National Championship rings for the Spartans since they joined the Big Ten in 1951, but man, that would take at least 4 pictures...At least the Michigan fan has to only post one...

All the jokes have been great. Looking forward to tomorrow's game. I hear the Spartan's are bringing back Spartan Bob to be the clock operator for this game... :hahano: