**WELP** Looks like it's my turn... divorce attorney thread

Been there done this.. It really sucks sorry to hear! My Advice or 2cents in this.. DON'T hire a cutthroat lawyer.. The only one who wins in these cases are the lawyers. Try and talk things out with her as hard as it might me ..Save yourself thousands of dollars and work it out between you 2 then make sure you have a complete understanding of what you guys are looking for.. My ex did not want to work it out between us "someone" told her to cover her ass so she hired VICOTRIA law... long story short in the end she got way less than I orriginally offered her and cost her (me) almost $20k in unnecessary costs.
 
slickstang said:
Been there done this.. It really sucks sorry to hear! My Advice or 2cents in this.. DON'T hire a cutthroat lawyer.. The only one who wins in these cases are the lawyers. Try and talk things out with her as hard as it might me ..Save yourself thousands of dollars and work it out between you 2 then make sure you have a complete understanding of what you guys are looking for.. My ex did not want to work it out between us "someone" told her to cover her ass so she hired VICOTRIA law... long story short in the end she got way less than I orriginally offered her and cost her (me) almost $20k in unnecessary costs.
Click to expand...

I haven't been through it thankfully but I have a few friends that have. In one case a lawyer wasn't involved at all and it worked out beautifully. That is probably the exception, but you are right, the lawyers win. They look at all the assets involved and calculate how long to keep the fight going to collect what they think they can get away with. One of my clients was a well-heeled dentist (multi millionaire) and I think they got him for about $300K.
 
Man that sucks. Especially with little ones involved. Have you looked into retaining someone from ADAM?
 
sorry to hear this, been through it, it sucks...here's my advice:

She's no longer your wife, she is now a business partner - keep emotion out of it as much as possible.
The more overnights she gets with the kids, the more child support she is entitled to
Don't leave the house, ever, until a judge tells you to or is negotiated
Be reasonable during the divorce, she won't be - judges do look at this
Aim high, try to settle in the middle. If you start in the middle, by the end, she'll have 75% of everything.
And yes, everything is negotiable, everything.
If you guys can sit in a room, hire a mediator (~1-300/hr), vs two lawyers at 300+/hr
The wider the income gap between you two, the more money one will owe in alimony, however, it's negotiable, AND, tax deductible (negotiate to give her more alimony vs something else, then you can reduce your taxes).
When you change your filing status from Married to Single, remember, you'll be taxed more per paycheck, so when you agree on how much you can pay on child support, know how much your checks will be, a lot of guys forget this. See an accountant (free) beforehand and ask him to help u figure out your claim amounts, then figure out your single paycheck. Also, whomever gets to claim the child(ren) is also negotiable, offer one year on, one year off.
If you don't get it in the divorce document, you'll be going back to court over it, and need lawyers again, so do as much up front on paper as you can.

Mine cost me 15k (300/hr), but I ended up on top imo.

Let me know if you want a referral.

Steve
 
lethalss said:
sorry to hear this, been through it, it sucks...here's my advice:

She's no longer your wife, she is now a business partner - keep emotion out of it as much as possible.
The more overnights she gets with the kids, the more child support she is entitled to
Don't leave the house, ever, until a judge tells you to or is negotiated
Be reasonable during the divorce, she won't be - judges do look at this
Aim high, try to settle in the middle. If you start in the middle, by the end, she'll have 75% of everything.
And yes, everything is negotiable, everything.
If you guys can sit in a room, hire a mediator (~1-300/hr), vs two lawyers at 300+/hr
The wider the income gap between you two, the more money one will owe in alimony, however, it's negotiable, AND, tax deductible (negotiate to give her more alimony vs something else, then you can reduce your taxes).
When you change your filing status from Married to Single, remember, you'll be taxed more per paycheck, so when you agree on how much you can pay on child support, know how much your checks will be, a lot of guys forget this. See an accountant (free) beforehand and ask him to help u figure out your claim amounts, then figure out your single paycheck. Also, whomever gets to claim the child(ren) is also negotiable, offer one year on, one year off.
If you don't get it in the divorce document, you'll be going back to court over it, and need lawyers again, so do as much up front on paper as you can.

Mine cost me 15k (300/hr), but I ended up on top imo.

Let me know if you want a referral.

Steve
Click to expand...

Thank you for all of the info.

FYI: She makes 50% more than I do. [emoji6]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
And I'm not a lawyer, but, you were saying you had equity in the house - whoever keeps the house will owe the other person half the equity. Generally payable immediately.

-Geoff
 
WhiteHawk said:
And I'm not a lawyer, but, you were saying you had equity in the house - whoever keeps the house will owe the other person half the equity. Generally payable immediately.

-Geoff
Click to expand...

Yeah.

We have actually had fairly civilized discussions on it. House is likely going up for sale and we split the money made.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
WhiteHawk said:
Awesome to hear you guys are being civil and working things out reasonably.

-Geoff
Click to expand...

It's kinda bizarre... from the initial spike in hostility from when it was decided to things being almost better than normal at the moment. Texting pictures of the kids back and forth, etc.

Definitely sucks in many many levels, but being civilized helps it be less painful.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
DetroitStyle said:
It's kinda bizarre... from the initial spike in hostility from when it was decided to things being almost better than normal at the moment. Texting pictures of the kids back and forth, etc.

Definitely sucks in many many levels, but being civilized helps it be less painful.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

I know 2 people that have gotten divorced and now they are pretty decent friends. It's like once the silence is broken and you get all the shit out there it's almost like it's been stripped down.
 
347convert said:
I know 2 people that have gotten divorced and now they are pretty decent friends. It's like once the silence is broken and you get all the shit out there it's almost like it's been stripped down.
Click to expand...


And I know 2 couples that have been divorced .......and remarried to each other again - happily!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top