neerG nO 'nioG
Forum Member
I received this as an email, and thought it was worth sharing. :roll:
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only
a high school diploma to fix one...a reassurance to those of
us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS
pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics
about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems,
document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the
next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted
by UPS ' pilots ( marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded ( marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never,
ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in ****pit
S: Something tightened in ****pit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only
a high school diploma to fix one...a reassurance to those of
us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS
pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics
about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems,
document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the
next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted
by UPS ' pilots ( marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded ( marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never,
ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in ****pit
S: Something tightened in ****pit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
