FutureZman
Banned
Im telling ya, this medication is really working my nerves..
I have absolutely no control of my asshole after about 10 minutes of holding the old trap door shut, every shit i take is a state of national crysis, smoking more than two pairs of shorts in one week, I am pleased to have learned my new dirty secret of Legal size shit box's...
Today was the day of all shit story's, Last night i had one of the most delicious burgers ive ever consumed, while walking through utica with my son, it was a shamrock burger, 8oz of charbroiled lepercauhn dancing, Pixie kissing peices of beef, perfectly done in every way...
well this morning, that burger wanted out from its cell, and i was at my wearhouse (which DOESNT HAVE A FUCKING bathroom!!), usually i can get in my semi and barely make it to the mcdonalds down the road, just as the brown vilian is starting to force his way into the world, but not today... not happening, this shamrock burger has been imprisioned long enough, and his time to shine is now! I start to sweat as i dump out a Legal size box for storage, and clear its final papers out so it can soon meat its new gasious / liquidous friend, the digested Shamrock burger from fucking hades!
I run to the corner of my warehouse like a white girl, from a NBA player at a "After hours party", hurtling box's, Hilo forks... and even a small Pallet jacks handles, dropping my pants as i run, my ballsnjunk slowly becoming visible to the world, and i make it to the corner, about 30 yards into the building, and unleash the beast... Man and gods battle as this creature of Delicious hell unleash's from my ass... i take a breathe of air, as i feel the end near. I hear the front door open, and a partner yell "Hey, where you at?!" I quickly fall into panic.. OMFG i think, my ass is covered in gods pudding, im in damn near plain site.. what do i do?!, i quickly kick my shoe off, it hits the opposing door accross from me, my Partner says "WTF, was that, B where are you!?" I quick like SONIC TEH HEDGEHOG, rip my adidas branded sock off my foot, and whip gods playdough off my asshole, and fall during the balancing act, no time for a second wipe, this is the best its going to get, i jump up half way and pull my shorts up, and kick the box of man shit behind me..
"Im here charles!" I yell, as im walking to him.. "Where the fuck where you?" Proclaims charles..
"I was doing a crossword puzzle, was focusing hard, whats it matter? Im here!"
The conversation ends, Charles exclaims he's here to help me, and heads outside, telling me to meet him at the grinder.
I grab my new treasure, trying to sneak it to the garbage outside.. as i get within 10 feet of the side door, he walks back in, "WTF are you doing?" I leap behind a storage unit like a Ninja with my box of brown stink, "Nothing, ill be out soon.." he walks back outside, i get to the door, he than walks back in!, I leap out the door, and say Im out here!, he goes back outside.. I leap inside trying to hide the wet box from him, I have a "Lewd and demeaning corporate acts" Clause on my Partner contract, this shit could cost me 50,000 if he wanted to be a prick, I cannot let him see my young one!
He leaps back in... "WTF are you doing? Jerking off?", In instinct i know im beat and toss the child to the floor and hope to deter him as long as possible.. I go out the door and start the Box grinding.. an Hour pass's as we keep grabing box's and finally this is out of mind for me, oddly enough.. even considering how close me and this peice of fecal matter have become, and my partner walks outside with a Odd, wet box.. "How did this get wet man?" says my partner.. i look in utter fucking horror, he's found my dark secret.. "I dunno ChuckEE, just toss it into the bin and lets blend it", he then stares at it... maybe in awareness of the stink stinging his nostrels... and slowly lifts the lid, to find a Brown mass, and a wasted designer sock so obviously from my sore asshole, residing in his hand... He just stares for a moment, relishing in all the godlyness that is my digestive system.. I screech "I can explain man, this guy came to the warehouse.. he was in trouble..." He stops me mid-sentence.. "do you lack oxygen to your brain? Where you sent from Lucious himself to fuck with me? Im seriously starting to consider entering your demented, mentally retarded ass in the special olympics.." I stop him, and smack his hand saying in a firm voice "If you cant appreciate him, give him back! He is my creation!".. he then toss the box at me, i get a little poop on me.. but i suffice.. he walks to his car, and stares at me.. shaking his head, and slowly giving me the bird.
I look at my brown babyboy one last time, with adoring eyes, regreting using that sock i loved to wipe my ass as i toss him into the grinder.. and watch him on the screen become pulp (the truck now smells like shit).
I work for a couple more hours, than head to the dump forgetting about my shinanigans before about my little turd, now pulp.
As im cleaning out the truck at the dump, the walking floor keeps pushing the scraps out, i stand there like a deer in the headlights like i always do, watching the 14 foot tall recycling bay poor paper onto my legs, when i feel something slimy, it takes 2 minutes before a bell rings! I just got my own shit smeered all over my legs, i look down to notice im covered in last nights dinner..
I then head home to park the truck keeping my trophy in tact on my legs as a reminder, that chucks a dick.
Its now 4:05 im at home staring at the awesomeness that it shitness all over my legs.
(yes this is a true story.)
Kiss - Kiss /HUG HUG.
I have absolutely no control of my asshole after about 10 minutes of holding the old trap door shut, every shit i take is a state of national crysis, smoking more than two pairs of shorts in one week, I am pleased to have learned my new dirty secret of Legal size shit box's...
Today was the day of all shit story's, Last night i had one of the most delicious burgers ive ever consumed, while walking through utica with my son, it was a shamrock burger, 8oz of charbroiled lepercauhn dancing, Pixie kissing peices of beef, perfectly done in every way...
well this morning, that burger wanted out from its cell, and i was at my wearhouse (which DOESNT HAVE A FUCKING bathroom!!), usually i can get in my semi and barely make it to the mcdonalds down the road, just as the brown vilian is starting to force his way into the world, but not today... not happening, this shamrock burger has been imprisioned long enough, and his time to shine is now! I start to sweat as i dump out a Legal size box for storage, and clear its final papers out so it can soon meat its new gasious / liquidous friend, the digested Shamrock burger from fucking hades!
I run to the corner of my warehouse like a white girl, from a NBA player at a "After hours party", hurtling box's, Hilo forks... and even a small Pallet jacks handles, dropping my pants as i run, my ballsnjunk slowly becoming visible to the world, and i make it to the corner, about 30 yards into the building, and unleash the beast... Man and gods battle as this creature of Delicious hell unleash's from my ass... i take a breathe of air, as i feel the end near. I hear the front door open, and a partner yell "Hey, where you at?!" I quickly fall into panic.. OMFG i think, my ass is covered in gods pudding, im in damn near plain site.. what do i do?!, i quickly kick my shoe off, it hits the opposing door accross from me, my Partner says "WTF, was that, B where are you!?" I quick like SONIC TEH HEDGEHOG, rip my adidas branded sock off my foot, and whip gods playdough off my asshole, and fall during the balancing act, no time for a second wipe, this is the best its going to get, i jump up half way and pull my shorts up, and kick the box of man shit behind me..
"Im here charles!" I yell, as im walking to him.. "Where the fuck where you?" Proclaims charles..
"I was doing a crossword puzzle, was focusing hard, whats it matter? Im here!"
The conversation ends, Charles exclaims he's here to help me, and heads outside, telling me to meet him at the grinder.
I grab my new treasure, trying to sneak it to the garbage outside.. as i get within 10 feet of the side door, he walks back in, "WTF are you doing?" I leap behind a storage unit like a Ninja with my box of brown stink, "Nothing, ill be out soon.." he walks back outside, i get to the door, he than walks back in!, I leap out the door, and say Im out here!, he goes back outside.. I leap inside trying to hide the wet box from him, I have a "Lewd and demeaning corporate acts" Clause on my Partner contract, this shit could cost me 50,000 if he wanted to be a prick, I cannot let him see my young one!
He leaps back in... "WTF are you doing? Jerking off?", In instinct i know im beat and toss the child to the floor and hope to deter him as long as possible.. I go out the door and start the Box grinding.. an Hour pass's as we keep grabing box's and finally this is out of mind for me, oddly enough.. even considering how close me and this peice of fecal matter have become, and my partner walks outside with a Odd, wet box.. "How did this get wet man?" says my partner.. i look in utter fucking horror, he's found my dark secret.. "I dunno ChuckEE, just toss it into the bin and lets blend it", he then stares at it... maybe in awareness of the stink stinging his nostrels... and slowly lifts the lid, to find a Brown mass, and a wasted designer sock so obviously from my sore asshole, residing in his hand... He just stares for a moment, relishing in all the godlyness that is my digestive system.. I screech "I can explain man, this guy came to the warehouse.. he was in trouble..." He stops me mid-sentence.. "do you lack oxygen to your brain? Where you sent from Lucious himself to fuck with me? Im seriously starting to consider entering your demented, mentally retarded ass in the special olympics.." I stop him, and smack his hand saying in a firm voice "If you cant appreciate him, give him back! He is my creation!".. he then toss the box at me, i get a little poop on me.. but i suffice.. he walks to his car, and stares at me.. shaking his head, and slowly giving me the bird.
I look at my brown babyboy one last time, with adoring eyes, regreting using that sock i loved to wipe my ass as i toss him into the grinder.. and watch him on the screen become pulp (the truck now smells like shit).
I work for a couple more hours, than head to the dump forgetting about my shinanigans before about my little turd, now pulp.
As im cleaning out the truck at the dump, the walking floor keeps pushing the scraps out, i stand there like a deer in the headlights like i always do, watching the 14 foot tall recycling bay poor paper onto my legs, when i feel something slimy, it takes 2 minutes before a bell rings! I just got my own shit smeered all over my legs, i look down to notice im covered in last nights dinner..
I then head home to park the truck keeping my trophy in tact on my legs as a reminder, that chucks a dick.
Its now 4:05 im at home staring at the awesomeness that it shitness all over my legs.
(yes this is a true story.)
Kiss - Kiss /HUG HUG.
uke: 
