Mid Life Crisis---career change---need help!!

no5.0notch

no5.0notch

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Nobody knows me on here so i can post this here. I'll try to make a long story short.

I'm 31 and married and just had my first child. he is 6 months already. I have worked in a machine shop for 12 years now, working 55 hours every week. i am having a mid life crisis(i think). i want to spend more time with my kid, i only get to see him for 2 hours everyday. and i am freaking out about it. its driving me crazy.

I am thinking about switching careers but dont know where to go or what to change to. Or i am looking for a shop that works 40 hours, which is rare. but i cant afford a pay cut.

i dont know what to do!! So I am asking HELP, Advice and opinions!!!

Any help is appreciated.

Thanks
 
You might be able to get a 40 hr/wk career but you might take a loss on the extra 15 hrs of overtime pay you are probably making now.

Being in the machining industry, do your skills translate into a larger manufacturing company? Even that is hit or miss, I work for a company that has people who work a strict 40 hour week and people who are supposed to work 40 hours but end up doing 80-90 hours.
 
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Is it possible to work a different shift or change your hours so that you would get more time with him? Like go in earlier come home earlier? I feel your pain, we are the same age and my daughter is 4mo if I have something going on after work I might only get to feed her before bed.
 
Similar story here too. I'll be 31 this month, work anywhere from 56-72hrs a week in a machine shop/fab/weld shop. We just had our first kid 4 1/2 months ago. I have been working hard to put myself in a position that by or before he is 2yrs old we will be mortgage free, vehicle payment free, and have everything we need or want. THEN I will go back to a strict M-F 40hr schedule either at my shop, or I will find one. I figure if I sacrifice now, then in only between 1 and 2 short years I'll be able to spend most of my time home with my son for as many years as i chose. This is just my $0.02, and I also sometimes freak out about not feeling like I spend enough time with him. I spend between 2 and 4 hours a day with him, and when I get home at 12 on weekends I try to spend the rest of the day with him.
 
any time spent with your kids you will not regret ... find another job that you has better hours close to what your making
 
Here's something you can try. Try living off of a 40 hour paycheck for a little bit and see how you adjust and stash the OT away for a rainy day fund. If you can live like that and still manage to save a few bucks from your 40 hours, then you might be able to reduce your hours in order to have some family time. Sure, it will stink not bringing home that OT pay, but life is full of compromises and you must choose which you are more comfortable with.
 
Like Tin said, our choices are never easy, and life in the corporate meat grinder is a bitch. Raising four children, putting them in a good school, in a nice neighborhood, and supplying them with even modest amenities is/was a formidable task. Doing that on a 40/hr income is nearly impossible, and while a dual-income helps, there's a loss of parenting there, not to mention the high cost of child-care. Good luck with your decision, but trust me here, choose wisely. I was 31 just the other day.....with 58 now right around the corner. Stay positive, keep a good outlook, and enjoy the ride.
 
Thanks for all the replies. I'm enjoying every minute I get with my kid. I just freak out about the future with him. Right now I need to make a plan and get some debt paid off. Then find a 40hr job.

At least I know there other people in my situation. I thought I was a weirdo for freaking out.

Thanks.
 
I worked a job with less pay, by choice for many years
so that I could be there for my family. For me it wasn’t a
“Sacrifice” or choice, it was the only thing to do.

At the time we had our first child my wife quite her job,
and it wasn’t just for a few weeks or months, it was for
20 years – and she had a better job that paid a lot more than mine.

Two things enabled us to be able to balance, income, family and
having things. We prayed (a lot!) and we stayed as debt free as we
could. Life has been good.

I wish you the best in your journey.
 
I had the same thought as many...work your ass off until your kids get 2yo and then slow down. I will tell you from experience thats a great plan. I did exactly that i got while the getting was good but i worked noons so i got to see my kids everyday for 5 hours before work. I made a lot of money and was able to get myself stable while still raising my kids. I will say this though time is gonna fly by. My oldest boy just turned 13yo last week. It seems like yesterday i was bringing him home from the hospital.

If you are only seeing your kids 2 hours a day I would change jobs. There is one thing certain in life...you can't get time back. Every day that kid grows older without you and you can never get that back. Holding those babbies, rocking them to sleep, watching those first steps are all great memories your will cherish forever.

And for the record I don't think you are going through a mid life crisis. Ive seen some of those and my god those stories get ugly lol

Good luck with whatever you choose to do
 
My $0.02.....You either have time or money but never both. The first few years are the most important....Spend time with them now, you have the rest of your life to work/make money/pay bills.

--Joe
 
I didn't see any other qualifications you may possess. I would suggest that you look for a different position all together. Many automotive suppliers have tooling folks on the engineering floor as advisors to guide the design along. You might look into that.

Another option if you don't already have this done is go back to school and get your degree. It will open doors for you everywhere and the degree is something that nobody can ever take from you. I finished my degree with two kids that were 1 and 2 yrs old. Good luck!!
 
camaromann said:
Similar story here too. I'll be 31 this month, work anywhere from 56-72hrs a week in a machine shop/fab/weld shop. We just had our first kid 4 1/2 months ago. I have been working hard to put myself in a position that by or before he is 2yrs old we will be mortgage free, vehicle payment free, and have everything we need or want. THEN I will go back to a strict M-F 40hr schedule either at my shop, or I will find one. I figure if I sacrifice now, then in only between 1 and 2 short years I'll be able to spend most of my time home with my son for as many years as i chose. This is just my $0.02, and I also sometimes freak out about not feeling like I spend enough time with him. I spend between 2 and 4 hours a day with him, and when I get home at 12 on weekends I try to spend the rest of the day with him.
Click to expand...

You're working hard now to make things much better for the family in a few years. That's an honorable thing, stick to your plan!




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For what it's worth... I work afternoons. So I am home with my boys (4 and 6) during the day, wife has them during the evening. It's hard on US, but it's great for them.

However, my oldest just started kindergarten, so now I barely see him and I hate it. Going to have to figure something else out when the youngest starts going full time


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