Deaf Mafia Bookkeeper

Torxila

Torxila

Club Member
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated
him out of $10,000,000.00
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to
testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10
million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are
talking about"

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says,
"Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies,
"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
 
Why Wives Shouldn't Go Hunting...

IT WAS SATURDAY MORNING AS JAKE, AN AVID HUNTER, WOKE UP RARING TO GO BAG THE FIRST DEER OF THE SEASON. HE WALKS DOWN TO THE KITCHEN TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE, AND TO HIS SURPRISE HE FINDS HIS WIFE, ALICE, SITTING THERE, FULLY DRESSED IN CAMOUFLAGE.

Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"

Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"

Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along.

Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside of San Marcos, Texas.

Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot." Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant --- much less a deer.

NOT 10 MINUTES PASS WHEN HE IS STARTLED AS HE HEARS AN ARRAY OF GUNSHOTS. QUICKLY, JAKE STARTS RUNNING BACK. AS JAKE GETS CLOSER TO HER STAND, HE HEARS ALICE SCREAMING, "GET AWAY FROM MY DEER!"

CONFUSED AND FRIGHTENED, JAKE RACES FASTER TOWARDS HIS SCREAMING WIFE. AND AGAIN HE HEARS HER YELL, "GET AWAY FROM MY DEER!" --- FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER VOLLEY OF GUNFIRE!

NOW WITHIN SIGHT OF WHERE HE HAD LEFT HIS WIFE, JAKE IS SURPRISED TO SEE A TEXAS GAME WARDEN WITH HIS HANDS HIGH IN THE AIR.

The game warden, obviously distraught, yelled, "Okay, lady! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!"
 
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