didntdoit11
Forum Member
Detroit Lions
2009-2010 Lions SCHEDULE
September
14................Taft Junior High School
21................Cub Scout Troop #101
28...............Detroit Blind Academy
October
05................Spanish American War Vets
12................Crippled Children's Home
19................Appleton Mental Hospital
26................Girl Scout Troop # 353
November
02..................Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
09.................Depere Boys Choir
16................Korean Amputees
SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December
08..................Sheboygan Gay Boys Club
================================
** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect knee braces.
==============================================
2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Lions must not hide the football
under their jerseys.
** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line for all
you Lion fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing
team.
5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or
more, instead of the usual ten yards.
=======================================
The Lions
>
>
>>
>> Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
>> A: The Detroit Lions.
>>
>> Q: What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
>> A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."
>>
>> Q: How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
>> A: Put up goal posts.
>>
>> Q: Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
>> A: To Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there.
>>
>> Q: What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
>> A: A thief.
>>
>> Q: Why doesn't Grand Rapids have a professional football team?
>> A: Because then Detroit would want one.
>>
>> Q: What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
>> A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
>>
>> Q: How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
>> A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.
>>
>> Q: What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common?
>> A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road
** NAME CHANGE **
The Detroit Lions will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only
good for one period and have no second string.
** COACHING CHANGES **
Mooch will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no doubt blow a few, but
she certainly won't choke on the big ones
2009-2010 Lions SCHEDULE
September
14................Taft Junior High School
21................Cub Scout Troop #101
28...............Detroit Blind Academy
October
05................Spanish American War Vets
12................Crippled Children's Home
19................Appleton Mental Hospital
26................Girl Scout Troop # 353
November
02..................Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
09.................Depere Boys Choir
16................Korean Amputees
SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December
08..................Sheboygan Gay Boys Club
================================
** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect knee braces.
==============================================
2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Lions must not hide the football
under their jerseys.
** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line for all
you Lion fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing
team.
5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or
more, instead of the usual ten yards.
=======================================
The Lions
>
>
>>
>> Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
>> A: The Detroit Lions.
>>
>> Q: What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
>> A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."
>>
>> Q: How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
>> A: Put up goal posts.
>>
>> Q: Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
>> A: To Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there.
>>
>> Q: What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
>> A: A thief.
>>
>> Q: Why doesn't Grand Rapids have a professional football team?
>> A: Because then Detroit would want one.
>>
>> Q: What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
>> A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
>>
>> Q: How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
>> A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.
>>
>> Q: What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common?
>> A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road
** NAME CHANGE **
The Detroit Lions will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only
good for one period and have no second string.
** COACHING CHANGES **
Mooch will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no doubt blow a few, but
she certainly won't choke on the big ones
hsnap: