DetroitStyle
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But everybody here hates Chrysler... so I'm sure none of you would want any of these in your driveways....
Mike Spinelli —Chrysler's newly-anointed SRT boss Ralph Gilles and his product-and-engineering ninjas invited us out to Willow Springs, a fast, technical track in California's high desert, to check out their full line of muscle cars.
They've slammed out new versions of four of Chrysler's updated product line — the Dodge Charger, Jeep Grand Cherokee and Chrysler 300C — plus the Challenger SRT8 392 — in record time. But are they fully cooked, or half baked? I drove all four on track and across LA County's pretzely Angeles Crest Highway this week.
2012 Chrysler 300C SRT8
Here's the weird thing about the 2012 Chrysler 300C SRT8. I did my fastest lap around Willow Springs in this limo, according to SRT's new Electronic Vehicle Information Center. That's a console-screen app whose "performance pages" provide readouts on 0-60 mph time, 60-0 mph braking, G-forces, one-eighth mile and quarter-mile times.
I'm owing that to how planted the 300C felt through Willow's dreaded turns eight and nine, the first a 100mph+ sweeper, with a hint of lumpiness that would make Surtees' knuckles blanche. The second is a decreasing-radius widowmaker, known to toss unsuspecting wheelmen into a concrete wall nearby.
Of course, the extra confidence could have been a function of the XM-borne hair metal blasting from the 300C's 900-watt, 19-speaker Harman Kardon audio system. It works for fighter pilots.
The 300C and Charger are brothers-in-wheelbase, but I happen to think the 300C is the best looking of the bunch.
2012 Dodge Challenger SRT8
An interesting thing about driving all the SRT behemoths together is that you can tell which one's the least, er, behemothy. The 2012 Dodge Challenger SRT8 392's wheelbase is four inches shorter than the Charger's and 300C's, which translates — using the butt-o-meter — into quicker rotations. Indeed, the Challenger feels far more nimble than its predecessor, by big leaps. Yes, we're surprised too.
While fun to muscle around the track, the Challenger really shines — and I can't believe I'm writing this — on the serpentine trail of Angeles Crest. The joke's on me as I'm slinging the thing around blind esses like it's some Brit sled out of Chapman's workshop. It's definitely a head-scratcher.
Having driven both manual and automatic versions, I'm going to give this round to the paddle-selected slushbox. Blasphemy, you say? Indeed. And yet, whoever tuned the algorithms on this old Mercedes-Benz 5G-TRONIC deserves a Wall Street bonus. It's responsive, both upward and downward, leaving more sensory cycles available for keeping that giant hood pointed correctly. We'll save our harping on using a transmission from the mid-'90s for another day.
On track, the Challenger is wickedly fun, but I kept finding myself driving it like the mustachioed villain in a car chase through Beantown, Banacek-style — ignoring lap times, while finding opportunities to back into corners with the traction control off. It's stupid fun.
2012 Dodge Charger SRT8
Arguably, it's the 2012 Dodge Charger SRT8 that benefited the most from SRT's latest makeover. Last time we drove it, back in 2008, we loved it for its brute force, but thought the running gear was "unsettled, jittery, and unpolished." That's all done with. A new adaptive damping system, incorporating Bilstein coilovers, does a tremendous job soaking up the heavy car's former slop.
The suspension changes are most obvious on Willow Spring's Omega series of turns — a punishing, up-and-over section where the car is forced into corners with the suspension alternately weighted and unweighted. Here the Charger feels surprisingly on point.
As for the Hemi, let's get the specs out of the way, right up front. SRT's spent a bit of brain currency pulling out more low-end torque. The new, 6.4-liter Hemi gets a trick active-intake manifold using two different lengths of intake runners. They've also added a high-lift camshaft with cam phasing, all of which adds 80 lb.-ft. of torque at 2,900 rpm. Horsepower's up to 470, with torque peaking at 470, an 11 percent and 12 percent increase, respectively. Yes, the muscle is there. Are we being petty to have hoped for a solid 500?
The Charger also gets the best-looking dash cluster of the bunch, with a new, SRT-only steering wheel providing a much-needed tactile connection to what's happening underneath. Yes, they listened.
2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8
Ok, so here's the thing. The new Grand Cherokee SRT8 kicks ass. It eats racetrack tarmac in Joey Chestnutt-sized bites, then spits chunks in your face while it's giving you the drill sergeant treatment for not trusting it to carry more speed in the corners than you did. You're as useful as a football bat, you maggot. It's that much of an improvement over the previous model.
At a curb weight of 5,150, we're talking 'saurus-sized forces acting on the Cherokee's running bits during changes in direction. And still, the thing can pull 0.9Gs on the skid pad. It takes a lot of hardware, software and sensors to keep everything rotating properly. The electronic rear diff vectors torque between the rear wheels, locking up fully when ESP notices you're braking under a sharp steering angle. That last bit will both make the assist for trail braking on track, and also keep panicky commuters out of the weeds.
The Jeep shares massive Brembo brakes (15" x six piston front; 13.78" x four piston rear) with the other SRTs. Necessary, very necessary. They work. Enough said.
While disorientating to look down on creation from SUV level, the Cherokee in Track Mode is remarkably tossable. Perhaps not as precise as its heighty-weighty competitors from BMW and Porsche, but it's still a ton of fun. Make that 2.5 tons.
