Quick86
"New Thread" & "Post Reply" button abuser
Secretaries Powell and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn’t that Powell and Rumsfeld?”
The barkeep says, “Yep, that’s them.”
So, the guy walks over to the two and says, “Hello, what are you guys doing?”
Rumsfeld says, “We’re planning World War III,” to which the guy replies, “Really? What’s going to happen?”
Rumsfeld says, “Well, we’re going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman.”
And the guy exclaims, “Why are you going to kill a bicycle repairman!?!”
With that, Rumsfeld turns to Powell and says, “See, I told you no one would care about the 10 million Afghans!”
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A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
“Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”
“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”
“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”
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A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”
The husband replies, “All I wanted to do was fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry.”
“What are you thinking now?” the wife asks as she undresses.
The husband quickly replies: “It looks like I did a pretty good job.”
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A man is walking on the beach when he trips over a lamp. A few seconds later, a genie pops out and says, "I’m required to grant three wishes, but since you did not treat my lamp with respect, I will give twice what you get to the person you hate most—your boss."
The man agrees and makes his first wish: "I want lots of money." Instantly $20 million appears in bags on the beach, and $40 million appears in his boss’ bank account.
Next the man asks for an incredible sports car. Instantly a Lamborghini appears, and at the same moment, two show up outside his boss’ house.
Finally the genie says, "You have but one wish left; you should choose carefully."
The man says, "Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney."
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Leaving the poker party, late as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car’s engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone."
"You’ve got the wrong technique, my friend," his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on my wife’s ass, and ask, ’How ’bout a little?’ and she pretends to be asleep."
The barkeep says, “Yep, that’s them.”
So, the guy walks over to the two and says, “Hello, what are you guys doing?”
Rumsfeld says, “We’re planning World War III,” to which the guy replies, “Really? What’s going to happen?”
Rumsfeld says, “Well, we’re going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman.”
And the guy exclaims, “Why are you going to kill a bicycle repairman!?!”
With that, Rumsfeld turns to Powell and says, “See, I told you no one would care about the 10 million Afghans!”
---------------------------------------------
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
“Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”
“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”
“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”
---------------------------------------------
A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”
The husband replies, “All I wanted to do was fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry.”
“What are you thinking now?” the wife asks as she undresses.
The husband quickly replies: “It looks like I did a pretty good job.”
---------------------------------------------
A man is walking on the beach when he trips over a lamp. A few seconds later, a genie pops out and says, "I’m required to grant three wishes, but since you did not treat my lamp with respect, I will give twice what you get to the person you hate most—your boss."
The man agrees and makes his first wish: "I want lots of money." Instantly $20 million appears in bags on the beach, and $40 million appears in his boss’ bank account.
Next the man asks for an incredible sports car. Instantly a Lamborghini appears, and at the same moment, two show up outside his boss’ house.
Finally the genie says, "You have but one wish left; you should choose carefully."
The man says, "Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney."
---------------------------------------------
Leaving the poker party, late as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car’s engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone."
"You’ve got the wrong technique, my friend," his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on my wife’s ass, and ask, ’How ’bout a little?’ and she pretends to be asleep."
