Elderly Couple
- Thread starter Torxila
- Start date
Only a person in Texas could think of this:
From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last
call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles,
the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night,
flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for
a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out
and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car,
put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.
This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'
"I doubt it", said the truly proud Texan. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'
From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last
call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles,
the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night,
flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for
a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out
and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car,
put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.
To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.
This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'
"I doubt it", said the truly proud Texan. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops
to listen .......
MAN:
"Hello"
WOMAN:
"Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN:
"Yes."
WOMAN:
"I'm at the shops now and found this
beautiful leather coat.
It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that
much."
WOMAN:
"I also stopped by the Lexus dealership
and saw the new models. I saw one I
really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with
all the options."
WOMAN:
"Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was
just talking to Janie and found out that the
house I wanted last year is back on the
Market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an
offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it.
If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand
if it's what you really want."
WOMAN:
"OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN:
"Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the
locker room are staring at him in absolute astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks,
"Anyone know who's phone this is?"
A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops
to listen .......
MAN:
"Hello"
WOMAN:
"Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN:
"Yes."
WOMAN:
"I'm at the shops now and found this
beautiful leather coat.
It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that
much."
WOMAN:
"I also stopped by the Lexus dealership
and saw the new models. I saw one I
really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with
all the options."
WOMAN:
"Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was
just talking to Janie and found out that the
house I wanted last year is back on the
Market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an
offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it.
If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand
if it's what you really want."
WOMAN:
"OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN:
"Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the
locker room are staring at him in absolute astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks,
"Anyone know who's phone this is?"
