OK, let me start off by saying this Wrangler is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women) . My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this brute of a Jeep would look like Tom Selleck . It is just that manly .
It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on . It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things . No, that's what your Prius is for . If that's the kind of 4 wheeler you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now . I mean it . Just stop .
This Jeep was engineered by ELITE American 4X4 Specialists to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis . Made when a Jeep was built for a REAL man. Back before the times of superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what On Star is) and if the technology HAD been around, they wouldn't have put that limp-wristed crap in this baby! .
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need . It has a 350 inch Chevy engine to outrun the cops (OR out pull). It's got a special blood/gore resistant seat cover . It even has a first-aid kit in the back . You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself . The Wrangler also has a Torqueflite 727 automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time . It's saved my bacon more than once . This crowning achievement from America also has AGR steering, Trail Master shox, Dana 60 rear, Dana 44 front, Warn hubs, nearly new Bestop, hard top, NP 208 t-case (plus an extra one for parts), L98 vette long block (needs a major overhaul), Edelbrock intake/Holley carb, HEI ignition, 39" Monster's, 11" suspension lift, 2" body lift and a Ramsey winch for those long runs in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but you and your Jeep for miles. Now, to be fair you need to know that "someone" thought they were going to do some more upgrades (not sure what that could be though) and took this monster apart. He's been down for awhile now and needs quite a bit of attention. Just be sure you have really BIG tools.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $2,500, but I'll entertain reasonable offers . And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $1,000 for it . That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab . Would it hurt? Hell yeah . Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore .
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see . If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me . I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you . And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a glass of Kentucky Bourbon while listening to Johnny Cash .
To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in two strips of rawhide. I wrapped these around my wrists as bracers to keep my hands on the wheel when I had to control this monster. Use them for what ever you feel fit, I'm just making a suggestion.
